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An Introduction To The Gottman Method

In 1972 the mathematician Dr. John Gottman began concentrating his focus on the study of patterns in couples relationships. By 1986 the now world renowned “Love Lab” was up and running.

Using physiological sensors, computers, and video cameras, Dr. Gottman used his Love Lab to predict longevity in relationships. Gottman himself interviewed over 3,000 couples, conducting 12 distinct studies, the longest of which followed couples over a 20-year period. His research was so comprehensive that he was able to predict which couples would get a divorce with 94% accuracy.

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Since the Love Lab's inception in 1986, over 40,000 couples have been studied by the Gottman Institute. According to Dr. Gottman the biggest indicator of a couples’ success is not whether they argue, it’s how they argue.

The couples who got divorced exhibited four distinct and destructive patterns of communication: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt; dubbed the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” by Gottman and his team.

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The couples who went on to have a fulfilling relationship displayed strengths in the areas of: Building Love Maps, Sharing Fondness and Admiration, Turning Towards Instead of Away, Positive Perspective, Managing Conflict, Making life Dreams Come True, and Creating Shared Meaning. These 7 attributes accompanied by Trust and Commitment were hallmarks of what Gottman called the Sound Relationship House.


Whether you are newly married, getting married, or have been in a committed relationship for 30 years, Gottman Method couples work can help you:

  • Increase intimacy, affection, and respect 

  • Decrease couple arguments and improve the ability to repair quickly

  • Address specific problems such as: infidelity, parenting, sexual difficulties and money


Working with a Gottman Method couples therapist will provide you with the tools needed to enjoy the benefits of a happy, healthy relationship.

As a Certified Gottman Therapist I provide a safe place for exploring relationship strengths as well as areas that need improvement with respect and dignity, and without judgement.

Please reach out to me today to schedule a couples counseling session, schedule a couples intensive, or sign up for the Art and Science of Love Workshop couples weekend. 

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